Oberyn Martell recaps Game of Thrones season 5, episode 7-“The Gift”

It is I, Oberyn Martell! Here to look upon the most recent events in Westerors and Essos…

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Away we go on another journey

At the Wall, Jon is riding out with Tormund. It looks cold up there and lonely. Too many men, not enough women or wine… No one likes Jon trying make peace with the Wildings, but that is not surprising. At least Sam packs a bit of dragon glass for Jon, in case of White Walkers. A bottle or three of wine would have been nice, but Sam isn’t schooled in such things. What good is Maester if they tell their pupils about the important things of life?

I suppose Aemon is bit busy, what with dying. He’s quite old, so its not surpring, but it’s bitterwsweet. But with Winter coming, it seems fitting. Before he passes, he wakes from a dream and mutters “I dreamed I was old.”
In the morning, his body is laid out and Sam speaks for him, noting that his watch has ended. It’s amazing to realize that someone actually managed to die of old age. As the funeral pyre is lit, Ser Thorne leans over to Sam and whispers that he’s losing all his friends. Hmm, clearly the man needs a warm body and bottle to calm himself. Perhaps that would stop him from doing and saying such foolish things.

Hello Theon, try not to betray me again, ok?

Hello Theon, try not to betray me again, ok?

At Winterfell, Reek/Theon takes food to Sansa. The poor girl is crying and desparate. She spends her days locked up in her room and at night Ramsay comes to her. She asks Theon for help, but he is scared, understandably so. Ramsay has enjoyed torturing him. Sansa reminds him who is, that he was once a prince and high born and that he owes her. She asks that he do what the old northern woman said could be done if she was trouble: Light a candle in the high tower. Reluctantly he agrees and takes the cande. But when he goes there, it’s an office of Ramsay’s. A pity, there will be no rescue tonight or any other night.
Later, Sansa goes to meet Ramsay on one of the parapets of the castle as it snows. He mentions Stannis’s army and the forthcoming attack. Sansa remarks about Ramsay’s possible lineage, reminds him that bastards have it rough. With Roose’s wife pregnant, it’s possible that a son of hers could usurp Ramsay’s place in the lineage and become Lord of Winterell. She says it with such fire there. It’s a dangerous thing to point out, but she does it calmly and directly. He doesn’t seem to notice her defiance or the sharp object she manages to grab and hide under her skirts. Instead he shoos away her statements and thinks nothing of them. Very good. Sansa has fire and I would not want to be in her way when its finally unleashed!

Then, he shows her the old woman who was helping her. She’s been flayed alive and her body hung. Damn, Theon betrayed her yet again. The boy must pay for that some day.

Sure things are bad here, but onward!

Sure things are bad here, but onward!

At camp Stannis, things are hard. The cold is killing horses and a group of sellswords have deserted. Davos advises retreating back to Castle Black, but Stannis will not have it. He’s not one to walk away from battle, especially after retreating at the Battle of Blackwater. He will not do so again. Once Davos leaves, Stannis asked Melisandre if her visions of him being king are true. Then she counsels that a king’s blood will be needed. She says his daughter could be used. He’s horrified and  throws her out. A least Stannis remains a decent father.

At the Wall, two Brothers of the Night’s Watch try to attack Gilly. Sam tries to defend her, but fails miserably, as he’s no warrior. He’s badly beaten, but still rises to try to protect her. He has heart, I’ll give him that. Luckily the direwolf Ghost enters room and scares off the bad Brothers. Afterwards, Sam politely passes out. He has a brave heart, but no skill. He needs some fighting skill badly.

Later, as Gilly cleans his face and tends to his wounds, she says he should run away next time. But he refuses, of course. He’s so very brave, for those he cares for. So they kiss and then the moment is right for more. They make love, softly and sweetly. First a death from old age and now a lovely scene of romance. Is this really Westeros?!

In Essoss, Jorah and Tyrion are auctioned off as slaves for the fighting pits. Jorah is sold for a grand price, forcing Tyrion to be even more resourceful to be taken along. He winds up beating a lowly stable boy to sort of prove he’s a fighter also. So the slaver takes him, more for humor than anything. But still, Tyrion has found a way to move forward. Had the Lannisters cherished him instead of a lifetime of mocking, their family would be in much better place.

In Meereen, Daarios and Daenerys are in bed, laughing and enjoying themselves. Ah, a shame I never met these two, surely their bed could accommodate one more person? Anyway, they talk about her upcoming marriage, which she insists is strictly political. She mentions her reasons for marriage, while fending off Daarios’s requests for marriage. Though she’s the Queen, she can not do whatever she wants. She’s learned from the ill-timed execution of her advisor. There’s hope for her yet!

Grandma Tyrell visits the High Sparrow in Kings Landing. It doesn’t go as she expects, but it’s always delightful to see her in action. She wants Loras and Margeary back and makes bribes and threats but the High Sparrow is not impressed or scared. Foolish on his part. No one can get by solely on their own and the loss of House Tyrell’s grain shipments would be brutal to the city. Perhaps the High Sparrow craves power more than anything else?

Elsewhere in that stinking city, Tommen whines that there is nothing he can do about Margaery being jailed. Cersei tries to calm him, but to no avail. The King of the Westeros continues whining, saying he’ll speak to the High Sparrow himself to gain her freedom. But Cersei manipulates herself into taking that role, saying she loves him and would do anything to make him happy. Poor boy, he’s truly in over his head.

Meanwhile Baelish and Grandma Tyrell meet in one of his empty and destroyed Brothels. Truly a side day when a house of pleasure lies unused. No wonder I hate this city. Neither of these two cares for what Cersei is doing or the rising power of The Faith of the Sevens. Grandma makes it clear that if her house goes down, Baelish is coming with her. But Baelish, as always, has a plan of some kind.

In Dorne, Jamie is allowed to meet with Myrecella. He sees she’s fine, as of course we would not abuse her, but still he wants to take her home. But she doesn’t want to go. Dorne is her home and she loves Tristian. Ha! Even a Lannister loves my beautiful homeland and wants to stay!

One of the Sand Snakes does me proud, by playing with her food, aka Bronn.

One of the Sand Snakes does me proud, by playing with her food, aka Bronn.

In the jails of Dorne, Bronn sings a lovely tune, while the Sand Snakes listen in another cell. My youngest, Tyene, who managed to cut him during the fight in the Gardens, taunts as a only woman of Dorne can: with sweet words and actions, backed by the threat of death! She softly asks him if she’s the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen, while revealing herself to him. As he vision blurs from poison that was on the dagger he was cut with (I am so proud!) Bronn finally says the words. Laughing, she throws him the antidote and says she finds him quite handsome also. Ha, but she does not say he is the most handsome man she’s ever seen. My daughter still wins, of course!

Jorah and Tyrion are in the staging area of the fighting pit. Daenerys is there to view the troops, as is custom on the opening day of the fighting pits. Jorah realizes she’s there and rushes to see her, while the first wave of fighters go at it. Jorah rushes out to fight. He does very well by only knocking them out, not killing them. I would have enjoyed going againt him!
After he wins, he reveals himself, but she orders him taken away, she’s still so angry. As he protests, Tyrion makes his way to the pit and introduces himself. Finally, a meeting of powerful and smart people! Daenerys’ anger is replaced by surprise. Now the question is whether she’ll have him killed or not. No one likes the Lannisters, though many recognize that Tyrion is cut above his family.

Cersei goes to meet Margeary in her cell, enjoying every moment of seeing her foe in chains. To her credit Margeary doesn’t beg and knows exactly why she’s there. She curses and tells Cersei’s smirking face to get out.
Afterwards, the High Sparrow and Cersei meet and things take a most wonderful turn. He reveals that Lancel Lannister is one of his disciples and has told him everything. His sleeping with Cersei, Jaime and Cersei’s incest and of course, the plot to kill King Robert. Cersei’s smirk rapidly disappears as she’s seized and thrown in a celll of her own. While everyone needs friends, one should be careful about who those friends are!

Oh, do please let her and Margeary share a cell! Alas,they don’t, but still it is wonderful to Cersei finally caged for all the trouble she has caused.

Here's  a face no one would love

Here’s a face no one would love

Musings over wine…

Is there anything sweeter than revenge taken on an enemy? Taking it yourself of course, but since I can not be there to avenge myself on Cersai for my situation I do enjoy that her short sided manipulation ending so neatly. Tywin would be ashamed.

I myself am a proud parent- I love seeing my daughters flex their wings. And that even a young Lannister loves Dorne like I!

Whether High Sparrow or Red Witch, those of a religious bent are tiresome. What madness is it to destroy the people you run or family you love to ‘please’ a god?

Things in Essos may get interesting again! Now that the boring politics and most pointless kidnapping are over!

Oh to have spent a few bottles of wine with Olenna Tyrell…