Oberyn Martell recaps Game of Thrones episode s05e06- “Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken”

Oberon Martell here on a lovely island surrounded by nubile… everything. Let’s have a look at what is happening in this little game of thrones.

GoT s05e061

Arya works in such drab settings

Oh dear we are starting with Arya? And she’s still cleaning? At least she’s cleaning dead bodies. This seems to be some sort of step up. And arguing with Jaqen ‘no one’ Afar. They play the Game of Faces which is a test of lying it seems. That at least is a useful skill though I prefer bare faced honesty. It’s much more entertaining to watch others reactions.

Arya shows some kindness to a dying girl, by expertly lying and helping her to relieve the girl of pain that has plague her all her life. For such skill, Jaqen brings her to the lower chambers of the House of Black and White. It seems to be full of the faces of the dead. Though Arya may not be ready to become no one, she is ready to be someone else. Finally we move into interesting territory.

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Tyrion and Jorah walk and talk, as traveling companions do.

Then we get to travel with Tyrion and Jorah. I agree with Tyrion, Jorah is a boooring travel companion. Things do get better when everyone gets honest! See what I mean? Tyrion tells Jorah about why he left King’s Landing and meeting Jorah’s father. As this not so dynamic duo walk, they ‘discuss’ why Jorah wants to hand over Tyrion. He, of course, has opinions about that and politics and Daenerys. Then, they have a bit of trouble and run into some slavers. Tyrion is a delight to watch, as he talks them out of not killing him and chopping of his cock, until they get to a cock merchant. (I have been to these shops and they are overrated). The Imp also talks the slavers into taking Jorah to the newly re-opened fighting pits in Meereen.

Cersei and Baelish talk and plot, but not together!

Cersei and Baelish talk and plot, but not together!

Ah, here’s the silver tongued Baelish back in King’s Landing. And he runs into Lancel and his religious order, The Faith of the Seven. Sigh! These religious types give me a headache. Nothing but judgement for all the pleasures in life. Baelish reminds them he’s got an appointment with the Queen Mother. They back off, doling out warnings instead. Neither Baelish or I are impressed.

In his discussion with Cersei, he warns her against the merits of using the Order to do her dirty work. Cersei doesn’t listen, but I doubt Baleish expected her to. She’s more concerned with shoring up her crumbling power. So Baelish promises the Vale’s fealty to the crown.

Then he reports on Sansa’s whereabouts and upcoming marriage. He, of course, explains that this will make Bolton much stronger as Warden of the North. He then councils patience as he updates her on Stannis’ likely plans. Of course she should take an army to finish the winner. Oh, but she hasn’t one to speak of. So Baelish promises the Vale’s army as they are better trained for battle in the North anyway. I’m not sure what to make of Baelish, he seems stunningly amoral at times, and then sweetly personable when it comes to Sansa Stark. But I do know not to trust him.

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In the Watergardens of Dorne anything can occur!

Ah here are my beautiful Water Gardens. We have my young prince nephew, Tristan and his intended Myrcella Lannister. He says he will ask for her hand soon. They kiss. Ah young love is sweet, no? It makes my poets heart sing. My brother likes seeing them as well. He tells his head guard to keep careful watch on them.

Just as well as we see Jaime Lannister and Bronn riding towards the Gardens. Bronn is murdering one of our quaint minstrel’s songs. They plan to kidnap the princess. As do my lovely daughters. My paramour has worked them into a state and now it seems we shall have a wonderful fight in the palace gardens.

Jaime and Bronn approach a very involved kissing young couple. This should imply that Myrcella may not leave willingly. As they discuss this, my beautiful daughters approach and as promised a magnificent fight! My youngest spirits the princess away, before the guard arrives. My lovely Obara is stubborn as is Jaime. But they do finally surrender to the guard that encircles them. The guard also surrounds my lovely Ellaria.

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Cersei and Grandmother Tyrell spar!

Grandmother Tyrell has come back to do something with the Loras imprisonment. On meeting with Cersai, who plays dumb, Olenna Tyrell reminds Cersai of their houses’ alliance. Cersai placates her quite ungraciously. The High Septum is having a hearing to detirmine if a trial is needed. Loras defends himself from charges which are of course ridiculous. Why a religious order should fuss over the pleasure of the flesh because they are offended by the parties involved is beyond cruel. But alas the Septon proves his case and wrangles Margery into jail, as a witness who covered for Loras’ so called crimes. Is Cersei happy? She does look smug. She was not expecting such plentiful results I think but is quite pleased. Unlike Lady Tyrell, whom I would choose to have on my side anytime. We have had good dealings before after all. Just ask Joffrey.

Sansa in her wedding dress.

Hello beautiful Sansa. I am glad to see you growing strong. You reveal the two faced nature of the daughter of the dog keeper quite admirably. Miranda? Yes, that is her name. Still keep an eye on her. Sansa is ready for her wedding, she is quite fetching. If only my brother had had more sons! But alas Theon comes to escort her to the wedding. She refuses his arm and Theon nearly breaks down with fear about the forthcoming punishment for that. The wedding goes forward with the arrogant Bolton boy lording himself over the preceding. Later, Theon stewards Ramsey and Sansa up to their wedding room and then goes to leave. Ramsey has told Sansa to strip after he accuses her of lying about her virginity. He demands Theon stay to watch Sansa’s deflowering. Ah, the punishment, as promised, includes Sansa as well. The wretched Ramsey has his way, of course, as Sansa screams and cries. And Theon cries in the corner being forced to watch.

Well, I’ve certainly had more than I can watch for now. I think I’ll go find a new bed and a fresh bottle and check back later.

Musings over wine…

Baelish makes a good point. Make all of your fantasies entertaining. 

Ah Cersei. So strong, but not so smart. Considering who the father of your children are, it is not wise to unleash religious fanatics.

I enjoy seeing Tyrion at his best. And this seems to be when his back is against the wall and his brain and mouth are his only weapons. 

I would suggest anyone be more wary when tangling with my daughters. Bronn took a small cut to the arm but may have forgotten our family nicknames were snake related for good reason.