Agents of SHIELD- Season 2 Episode 1- A Bump In the Road!

shield groupFirst, an FYI: yes, there will be spoilers. Why are you even reading this with spoilers?! Second, expect this one to be a little long as we catch up with our favorite wearers of black clothes…

Previously! On Agents of SHIELD, we met Coulson and his team! Wait?! Coulson’s not dead! He got rebuilt? Coulson’s second is Melinda May aka the Calvary. Don’t call her that. She’s smart, she’s a bad-assm, can pilot anything and will prank the Stark of you! Ward is another bad-ass and seemingly cold-hearted hero. Fitz/Simmons are our science genius wonder twins! Both English, both top of their class, Fitz is the boy, Simmons the girl and they do act like twins finishing each others sentences etc. Fitz like likes Simmons, but it’s not totally clear if she digs him, but Magic Eight Ball says probably. There’s Skye, a hacker girl, who is a target of their first investigation; she reluctantly joins up to avoid jail and to help ‘the people’.

We met Mike aka Deathlok, a victim of Quinn’s Centipede program (seen in IronMan 3), Mike’s controller- Raina, Quinn and a  bunch of no name commando types. Turns out they are all working for The Clairvoyant (cue dramatic music!). There’s people selling weapons, there’s people trying to take over and there’s people who try to do government deals. SHIELD is going around cleaning up messes from SuperPeople, found artifacts etc. We even get a visit from Asgard (Lady Sif). Nick Fury and Maria Hill show up a couple of times, Skye’s loyalty is tested, then she’s shot. She’s treated with the same stuff that rebuilt Coulson- the Tahiti formula, which seems to be Kree blood.

We end the season with a big plot parallel with Captain America: the Winter Soldier, when it turns out HYDRA has been driving SHIELD and everything just goes all off the road. Coulson’s good buddy he trained with, Garrett, was the head (The Clairvoyant) of all this and Ward was on his side, along with countless others. In the last few minutes of Season 1 we see General Talbot wants to kill or imprison any and all HYDRA/SHIELD agents, Raina walks off into the sunset to chat with Skye’s dad, who may be very Special, Fitz is wounded badly in action and our little rag tag team is smaller and hiding in the shadows, in a new tiny secret base hosted by Agent Koenig. Who has a lot of twin brothers.

All caught up? No? Don’t worry if we need more info we’ll talk about it! Before we dive in, can we just chat about Marvel’s brilliant move to often start in Chapter 3. Just dive into the story and toss out earlier details as we need them. Hit the ground running! It’s great to just get dropped in the action, especially since we slow down and pick up character details during the episodes.

We begin in 1940s Austria! It’s the final ‘disassembling’ of HYDRA at the end of World War II led by none other than Agent Peggy Carter! And friends! And now we can’t wait to see that show! W00T! They come across an artifact that looks very… benign. Hello big lump of metal, what’s up? There’s this Nazi guy trying to steal it since it has powers! Carter and her Agents stop him and pack up all the artifacts for the new SHIELD agency.

Cut to present day Virginia! Lucy Lawless! Another artifact! Well no, a folder of an artifact with information. See, this ex-SHIELD dude just wants money for the folder of info, which has information about an object at one Shield’s secret warehouses for strange stuff. Then a 3rd guy sneaks in, crashes the party, people die and 3rd party guy steals the folder. Lucy Lawless aka Agent Hartley and crew get ticked when the party fizzles and the 3rd guy is bulletproof. Lucky he left a bit of something behind, literally. Ewww.

hydra shieldOur hearty team goes back to base (wave to Koenig!), drops evidence at the lab and Coulson chats with May. He’s very busy, he can’t use the SHIELD plane, has to fly economy class and we get to see the TV news, which is General Talbot mouthing off about SHIELD/HYDRA, while bragging that Hydra is almost totally gone now.

Uh-oh, that file is very interesting. Seems like an artifact we might need. Finally, we get a last look at the party crasher. He really likes odd gems as he can absorb their material, so his body can became hard as concrete or bouncy like rubber. Does this work on food stuffs? Can he became a tasty meatball or an ice cream sandwich? Enough distractions! 3rd party dude is given a special type of diamond and nefarious new orders!

Break! Cars and food and things!

Hartley and her guys get called into Director Coulson’s office and May and Skye chat about the lab. So now we see FitzSimmons in the lab. And it’s a little sad, Fitz has a bit of um, what’s that called? Oh yeah, memory issues. May visits to check on the evidence, which bleeds and turns out to be a hunk of flesh from this 3rd party guy. Huh, the conversion doesn’t last, it reverts on its own. Anyway, the blood is typed and cross matched and they found out its a criminal named Kreel.

Now Coulson updates Skye (who is busy playing with the funky diagram/drawing that Garrett and Coulson drew last season). Then he almost asks for a favor. Skye needs to go to the basement and have a chat with… Ward. Did we forget to mention that Ward and Skye were developing a relationship before everyone found out he was a double agent? Well it’s true! Naturally Skye ended things, ’cause who wants to date a double agent. Can’t trust someone like that with a box of your favorite cereal! Ward, however, is creepily in love (or something!) with Skye and keeps trying to win her over, even after everyone knows he killed Shield agents and tried to kill Fitz/Simmons. Dude has some major issue! Get him some therapy!

Break! Movie trailer, Box Trolls opens this weekend, go see it! In the meantime, buy more stuff for your other stuff that you can stuff in stuff you’ve already stuffed!

LASER-CATSkye visits the bearded Ward in his laser prison. They chat about his suicide attempts and how Ward really wants to help Skye, who doesn’t care. Ward points out (mostly for us!) how May is training Skye and we admit, she looks more buff. Ward tells us about Kreel, who can absorb the properties of stuff he touches. He tells them how to listen in on HYDRA. And promises to be truthful and helpful about her daddy dearest, but she shuts him out. With a laser wall. ( Dear Santa…)

Koenig finds the hidden HYDRA transmissions and we see a message and then waaaaaaay more red points of light than SHIELD’s blue ones on the war room world map. Looks like we’ve got a lot of work ahead! Hmmm…

And now! Talbot is walking in the park with his family and gets a phone call from Coulson, who tries to warn him of an upcoming attack. Talbot doesn’t believe him, but Melinda May and Friends (so want that show!) saves him from the attacking Kreel, who gets taken in by military soldiers, while Melinda May “kidnaps” Talbot! That’s not gonna get SHIELD on his Christmas list!

Break! Game trailer! Fun! Ads! Have you bought MOAR Stuff yet?!

Talbot looks good locked up in his drawers. But he’s generally cranky. (GET IT??) Coulson tries to have a  friendly chat about who’s on who’s side and how not to waste resources. But Talbot is stubborn, so Coulson has to play him to get what he wants. Which starts with fingerprints, then proceeds to voice analysis. Almost like they wanna impersonate him…

Fitz and Simmons watch Koenig and May observe the Talbot chat. Fitz waxes on philosophical about his lack of brain power and how Simmons is the only light in his dim world. Simmons says nice things and its generally nurturing and helpful to the resident tech genius.

Talbot brags about how his guys got Kreel (uh yea, that was Skye who shot him and got him down). He says his prison is a totes awesome holding spot (it would be, seeing as how it was Magneto’s), right next to the artifact warehouse (which probably has an Ark in it right?). So Coulson finds a way to make Talbot help, by knocking him out and letting him play by himself, in his boxers, in an SUV on deserted backroad. Get your mind out of the gutter, we were here first!

Speaking of awesome prison cells, the one with Kreel is suddenly empty. So the guards should open it and have a look inside right?? Even though it’s clear plastic??? Oops. Kreel is out and on the loose!

The team works some impersonation magic with Talbot’s voice and fingerprint and poses as a party of military higher ups and get into the weapons depot. Hartley finds the artifact box and… opens it. Have we learned nothing from Prometheus? Then Kreel sneaks up on her and she WISELY, picks up the metal artifact chunk (to try and use its power) and falls to the ground in pain. The object transforms for a second, looking very much like the magic code Skye’s been working on. Then the artifact is turning her hand black. Kreel gets freaked out and runs, ’cause really who needs that kinda trouble when you have Absorbing powers? Meanwhile, Hartley’s team takes off, to get Hartley medical help. They cut Hartley’s arm off, cause she says the object is gonna kill her.

BREAK! ads, politics, blah. Tea Time!

Skye asks Coulson if they should abort, since Hartley is down and they have lost everything they were looking for. He says no, May pulls them out and she steals a Quinn jet, which can cloak! This was one of their targets. And it solves the Fitz problem.

Oh man,  the Fitz problem is even sadder. It turns out that Simmons is all in his head. She took off a couple months ago, hoping it would help Fitz get better. But he’s not getting better and he’s too damaged to finish up the tech that could cloak their main plane, The Bus. Coulson talks about how we need to make the best of what we got and keep our oaths to protect the people.

LucyHartley’s team is driving really fast and uh-oh, they hit a big Kreel bump in the road. Kreel is standing there and being asphalt, which causes the truck to flip. NO! THEY KILLED LUCY LAWLESS! Or did they? It’s Marvel and so far the only guy to stay dead is Garrett. Kreel meantime, rubberizes his hand, picks up the artifact and walks off into the sunset.

The stinger- That Nazi Officer from Austria- he’s in charge of the Kreel artifact recovery project. And he looks as young as ever. And he super happy to succeed.

All in all, we think this season opened with a bang. We loved seeing Peggy Carter in action, it’s great to see Coulson at the top of his game and we can’t wait to meet all of the Keonigs. Lots of action and comedy and new and old plot threads to follow. Happy fall people, TV is back!

Rules to add to the Agent’s Guidebook:

  • Quit touching stuff. Seriously, I mean it. You don’t know where that’s been.
  • Don’t open doors without back up. Especially cell doors.
  • Always steal a general when you have the chance.
  • Heck, steal Quinjets too!
  • Know the enemy. And don’t be smug about catching him.
  • Don’t put jail cells next to warehouse with ancient relics of power.
  • Watch for bumps in the road.